


Light in the Dark

by belladonnanoir



Category: Twilight
Genre: Attempted self harm, F/M, Hurt, Romance, lots of schmoop, non-canon, post New Moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-14
Updated: 2011-07-14
Packaged: 2017-10-21 09:18:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belladonnanoir/pseuds/belladonnanoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the 2010 SOB contest on fanfiction.net for the rain scene challenge.</p><p> </p><p>Jake catches Bella at her lowest point, will he make her wake up and see whats in front of her finally or is he destined to watch her fall? Rating for language and sexual scenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This was betaed before submission quickly due to my beta having some problems so apologies for any mistakes that may have fallen through the cracks!

I sat intently studying the metal I was holding contemplating on whether I could do this or not…could I do it? I know the hurt that it will bring Charlie but no-one else is going to care, they all deserted me. Sighing, I softly lay the metal on my bedspread and walked to my mirror.

Touching my cheek, I could scarcely recognise myself any longer. Gone was the once vibrant Bella Swan; all that was left was an empty shell that looked slightly like its former owner, how did I get this far gone? My cheeks were sunken, my eyes had no sparkle in them and my hair was so limp, I was a complete mess but I know how I got here unfortunately.

My life ended nine months ago…the Cullen's just left me, no explanations, nothing they just disappeared into thin air including the one who supposedly loved me. They never even gave me a good fucking bye, after I had heard they had left town I went to the house only to find it empty, my heart broke, they had claimed to love me…I climbed into a dark hole in that instant never to emerge; I couldn't face life without them in it somehow. Staring at my reflection I will the tears to come but they never do, not anymore…fuck all I want to do is feel something but I can't anymore.

Walking back to my bed I sit against the headboard, would they ever find out? Is there anyone out there who would care? Bringing my knees up to my chest I lay my head on them and closed my eyes when I realized yes there would be someone…

The one who had been my light in the dark for the last nine months…Jake, he started to come over every weekend and sit with me, not uttering a word until I said something, it was comforting to have him around, I guess in some ways he had become my security blanket…could I do this to him and Charlie? I began to think of my wonderful friend, others would have told me to fuck off but not him, he persevered the whole time, I could see those chocolate brown eyes watching my every move just waiting to see if I would say something. Since being here, even with Edward he was always on my mind, Edward hadn't liked the time I spent with Jake whereas I had relished it, there was always a spark of disappointment when I had to leave him, but he would get over this, why would he really care? I was sure he had only started coming over as a favour to Charlie; I wasn't worth anything to people as had been proved to me.

I heard a knock at the front door but I refused to move, what was the point? I picked up the knife and ran my finger over the sharp edge seeking some sort of peace in what I was about to do, the knocking got louder…oh for fuck sake, go away already! I rested the edge against my wrist and applied some pressure "I'm sorry" I whispered, I felt the sharp tip start to pierce my skin when suddenly a warm pressure enclosed my wrist and I found myself yanked off my bed and pressed against the wall.

Slowly I opened my eyes to find Jake glaring at me, he squeezed my wrist causing me to drop the knife "What the fuck Bella?" he hissed, his eyes blazing in anger, I could feel his body vibrating, he dropped his gaze and took a few deep breaths gulping in the air, I felt the vibrations calm when he glared at me again "Well you gonna answer me or not?"

He moved my wrists so they were held above my head, I was powerless to move and I knew I wouldn't be able to get away without answering him, I focused on his ear not wanting to look in his eyes in fear of what I would see them "I didn't want to go on anymore, it's too much Jake" I whispered, if he had been human he would have never heard me.

"What about Charlie, did you stop to think what it would do to him…or me?" his voice broke, I lifted my gaze to stare into his eyes, they were brimming with tears threatening to fall over his cheeks.

"I'm sorry…" I stopped unsure of what to say next, I felt his thumbs caress my wrists softly in his grip, closing my eyes I relished the feeling…it felt so good; how the hell could I have been so selfish to try and do this? He had been my saviour for the last few months, although he may never have known it, he kept me afloat and was the only reason I was still breathing, part of me wanted to blurt it out but something stopped me…fear. I was scared of letting someone else into my life, my heart only for it to be trodden upon once more.

"Sorry…fuck that Bella, I just found you trying to slash your wrists and that's all you can fucking say to me?" he snarled at me that anger sparkling in his eyes once more, he let go of my wrists and stepped away from me, his mouth twisted into a frown "I'm just glad I came over, Bells I know they did a number on you and its hurting you but come on, suicide isn't the way to make it all better." I wrapped my arms around my waist trying to pull myself into a cocoon as he launched into a rant "Christ, this is so fucking hard…I have been trying to help you through this whilst fighting my feelings for you…argh!" he hit the palm of his hand off his head, a wave of confusion ran through me, his rant seemed a little out of place, he suddenly looked at me and a look of embarrassment crossed his features "I just said that out loud didn't I?"

I nodded a tiny smile crossing my face, I slid down the wall keeping my arms wrapped around me as I watched him, he mirrored me sitting at the base of my bed "You have feelings for me?" I asked softly.

He bowed his head and nodded "Yes since the moment I first saw you but you were with Cullen. I watched you, the one who could put a smile on my face just thinking of you"

"Please Jake don't, I'm not worth it…find a girl who will make you happy. I can't be her" the moment the words left my mouth a feeling of sadness and confusion ran through me, why was I not upset over hearing Edwards name? why was I so sad at the thought of Jake finding another girl?

"Damn it Bella, you are worth it, if it takes forever so be it, but I will always be here waiting for you" he got to his feet, walked over to the forgotten knife and picked it up, he looked down at me "I'm gonna go just now but when you're ready Bella, you know where I am" he smiled at me softly before leaving my room with the knife.

I heard the door close downstairs just as the tears came, the first since they had left… it was as if the floodgates had opened and my heart was crying out in pain, I lay on my side on the wooden floor and sobbed. In some way I felt at peace even with the tears, I needed this; I lost myself in thoughts over the last nine months.

I had let the Cullen's dominate my every thought…why? They obviously didn't care about me; if they had then they would have never left. The only person that cared was Jake, my own personal light, when I thought about it, I had always been slightly perkier when I found out he was coming to see me, part of me felt whole.

The only question was could I open my heart to someone else, was it possible? Slowly I pulled myself off the floor and staggered into the bathroom switching on the shower. Undressing I got under the water, the hot spray relaxing my muscles, I closed my eyes and lay against the tiles, my mind wandered to my friend, his sparkling brown eyes, that short black hair that begged for you to run your fingers through it and those sinful lips, the ones that even when with Edward had plagued my dreams night after night.

I had an epiphany all of a sudden as I thought of how happy I was with Jake…he made me feel complete and loved, he would never leave me! My eyes flew open as my hand covered my mouth in surprise, I was in love with Jake I just hadn't realized it until now. Switching off the water and drying myself quickly. I padded into my room sitting at the edge of the bed; could I let him in though?

Yes, I think I could, he wouldn't hurt me…something in my gut told me this and I knew I was making the right decision, I jumped off my bed and went to my closet, surveying it in disgust, in my mind state I had ignored my wardrobe, I was never into my appearance but everything was threadbare, I would need to fix it soon when something caught my eye, I pulled it from the rail "Fuck it, it'll do" I whispered to myself, it was a short black gypsy style dress Renee had bought me last time I saw her…it wasn't my usual style but I had nothing else, I threw it on along with my flat pumps. Combing my hair quickly I looked at my reflection; there was a tiny spark in my eyes that wasn't there before.

Grabbing my keys I ran to my truck and set out for La Push, on the way I could see spits of rain falling on to my windscreen, great I'm in a fucking dress and its gonna rain, I focused on the road, my heart racing, I couldn't believe I was about to do this, as I reached the Black's the heavens opened, I switched my windscreen wipers on full blast, shit I hoped he was in if not I was gonna get soaked, I needed to talk to him.

I pulled into the driveway and jumped from the truck, running to the front door, I pounded on it…there was no answer. Fuck here goes nothing I thought to myself as I made my way round to the back of the porch to see if I could see anything when I stopped, just at the back of the house near the forest I saw him there along with the pack.

"JAKE" I yelled running down the stairs across the grass towards him, I concentrated on not slipping and falling on my ass, he spun round in shock, his eyes wide as he took me in, my dress sticking to my curves from the rain, my hair sticking to my cheeks as I felt droplets run from the ends of it down my chest, a smile broke across his face, I stopped just in front of him, it was my turn for the wide eyes, I felt rooted to the spot, he was gorgeous.

My eyes travelled across the contours of his body, clad only in a pair of black shorts, the rain lashing around us, I watched rivulets run down his chest, I had an urge to close the distance between us and lick them off him, I stared at the muscles in his arms and chest, the deep russet colour of his skin, my eyes worked their way up, his strong chin, those devilish lips just calling to me, his nose then my breath was ripped away. I looked into his eyes and the world ceased to exist for me, he was all I wanted to know, a look of astonishment crossed his face "Oh my god…you made a decision didn't you, that's why you're here?" he broke into a smile as a tear fell down his cheek.

I stepped forward and closed the distance between us, reaching up I brushed the tear away "Yes I did, I chose you Jake, I think deep down it's always been you"

"Bella" he whispered grabbing my waist, he pulled me into his arms spinning me around, the rain fell harder as he spun me, I put my face to the rain and smiled at the feeling, I had never felt as happy as I did now. He gently put me down and cupped my face "I always knew it was going to be you, I just had to wait for you to realize it…Bells I imprinted on you, it hadn't happened before because you weren't ready" he pulled away and took my hand "Come with me, guys we are going to go for a walk ok?" he directed at the pack.

I was reeling, he imprinted on me, I remembered the stories from the bonfires at La Push, we were soul mates, bound together for eternity, a grin curved my face as he pulled me into the woods, we walked until we reached a little clearing, he stopped and faced me once more cupping my cheeks. I looked in his eyes and saw love and adoration shining in them, this was where I was meant to be, and I knew it. "Jake, thank you. You were there for me through everything and today you gave me the wakeup call I needed"

He smiled down at me as I felt tears begin to fall down my cheeks, he rubbed them away gently and slowly lowered his lips to mine, I felt the rain begin to pound harder around us, we needed to get out of it, Jacob pulled away a little too quickly for my liking his chocolate brown eyes alight with lust, he took my hand and pulled me towards some trees for cover.

Before I could blink he backed me against a tree our bodies pressed together, his hands cradled my neck as he looked at me "I just want you to know Bella, you are everything to me, I would never hurt you"

I felt his thumb moving over my skin, it left a blaze of flames across my skin, I closed my eyes relishing in his touch, his finger trailed down to my collarbone and back to just below my jaw when I opened my eyes and spoke "I know you would never hurt me Jacob, I never want to hurt you either" I felt his fingers make small circles on my skin, oh fuck his touch was setting my body alight with desire, it was sending a jolt of fire straight to between my legs, I felt a rush wetness pool there, his eyes burned into mine as he took a deep breath, I blushed slightly knowing that he could smell my arousal but my embarrassment when straight out of the window as he looked at me with a look of unadulterated lust.

His lips dipped down to capture mine, his tongue pushing at my lips to be let in, I opened my mouth as his tongue caught mine in a tango, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him as close to me as I possibly could, I felt a hardness pressing against my abdomen, I smiled into my kiss as I lowered one hand to touch him when he suddenly caught my wrist and pulled away from my lips with a smirk on his beautiful face "Uh huh Bella, not yet" he pulled my hand up around his neck once more and pressed his lips to mine again. His lips crushed mine as his tongue demanded entrance into the inside of my mouth I quickly conceded, out tongues battling against one another for what felt like eternity, it all felt so right even Edward, who would have never dared try this, never got such a reaction. I was putty in Jacob's hands and he knew it, I needed him and it had to be soon, his hands left my neck and travelled down my back coming to rest on my ass. He gently squeezed it as I let my hands trail down his chest, feather like touches flitting over his muscles, he moaned loudly into my mouth. Just then some rain began to fall over us; I felt my dress cling to me as the water poured over my hands as I ran them down his chest. "Bella we should go back, it's wet" he whispered as he pulled away.

He reached forward to take my hand and pull me away but I pressed myself against the tree, refusing to move, he looked at me in confusion "I don't want to go back yet Jake, I like it here" he continued to stare at me as I pushed off the tree and put my hands to the hem of my dress, I looked at him through my lashes "I have never done this before but fuck I want you Jake, I need to have you"

He growled at my words, a sexy grin curving his face as he strode towards me again, my back being pushed against the tree once more, his hands caught the hem of my dress and in one fluid motion pulled it off, his eyes dipped from my face to take in my body, clad in only black boy shorts, his breath caught "Fuck me Bella, your gorgeous" his hands moved round my body and sat the hem of my underwear "Can I take these off?" he asked almost shyly, I nodded as he pulled them down, getting to his knees to help me out of them, on the way back to my lips he drew a finger up the inside of my thigh stopping before my wet folds, I felt my legs tremble, threatening to give out under me just as he pulled my legs up and around his waist, I squealed at the sudden motion before groaning as I felt his warm stomach resting against my flaming sex…oh god I needed him inside me.

He groaned as he felt me against him "Christ Bella I can feel you, you're so wet" his head fell against my neck as I rubbed against him slightly, he stilled the motion of my hips with his hands as he began to nip at my skin, his mouth started to trail down my neck until he reached my left breast. His tongue circled my nipple causing me to arch into him, he took my whole areola into his mouth sucking it hard, I felt his other hand cup my right breast and begin to tease my nipple before moving his mouth to the right one and his hand to the left.

"Jacob…Oh god." I groaned, he was sending ripple of desire running through me, I wrapped my hands in his hair and tugged gently urging him to continue when I felt him bite down slightly ripping a loud moan from my mouth.

I felt one of his hands move from my hip to the inside of my thigh, he gently ran his fingertip over it, stopping just before my inner folds, my breath caught as he looked at me lust emanating from his eyes "Tell me what you want Bella" he groaned as he ran his fingers teasingly over me.

"I want you Jake, I want you to touch me, take me…please" I knew I was begging but I needed him so badly it was beginning to hurt, he smiled at me before slowly pushing one finger inside of me, I inhaled sharply at the feeling; my head rolling backwards and connecting with the tree, it hurt like hell but I was to far gone to care, I felt him add another finger slowly going in and out coaxing a release from me, I felt my walls clench around his fingers just as he pulled them out slowly, he smiled wickedly at me as they ran slowly up my inner folds before he found the nub that was going to push me over the edge.

It took only a firm but momentary rub from his fingertips before I was spiralling into oblivion, my head fell back once more, my mouth opening in incoherent ecstasy, I felt a tension build in stomach like a spring as his fingers skilfully played with me. I felt the spring coil to the point that it was ready to burst, my body convulsed at the pleasure I was experiencing

"JAKE…FUCK" I cried out loudly, he smiled at me as I began to come down from my high.

He moved his hand away and I heard the rustle of material, he lowered my body slightly until I felt the tip of his shaft pushing at my folds, he bent his head and caught my eyes "Are you sure you want this? Tell me now" he said softly.

"I want this…please" I replied, he grinned and caught my lips in his. I felt him push in slightly letting me adjust to his size, although I hadn't seen him, I could feel the length of him and he was big, I felt him push further in until he reached my barrier, balancing me with one hand, his other quickly sought out the nub which had pushed me over the edge moments before, rubbing gently, I let myself get lost in the feeling, groaning loudly in to Jacobs mouth.

He pulled back with an apologetic look on his face "This is going to hurt a little I'm sorry" I nodded as he pushed all the way in, I could feel the tear of my skin, shit it stung but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. He slowly pulled out of me before sliding back in, my back rested on the tree as he used both hands to grip my hips, "Oh…Bella, so fuckin tight, never…want to stop" he groaned as he began to thrust harder.

I put my hands above my head to get some leverage on the tree and began to meet his thrusts, I felt delirious with pleasure, I never knew it would be so good, I could feel the tension building in my stomach once more as his long shaft pounded into me harder with each thrust. "Oh fuck Jake…so close….so" I said before being cut off his lips pressing against mine feverishly.

"Bells I can't last, I'm gonna cum. Cum with me baby" he pleaded reaching to my nub, rubbing it furiously, I felt my walls tense around his shaft as we fell over the edge together, groaning one another's name. I felt him thrust into me a few more times as we rode out our orgasm.

Pulling out of me he laid a gentle kiss on my lips before setting me on my feet, I looked around, the rain had stopped, when had that happened? I looked at Jacob who was staring at me in awe and shyness, I reached towards him and pulled him into an embrace, we stood locked in one another's arms for what felt like eternity when it occurred to me that his pack thought we were taking a walk, we had been a while…would they come looking for him, I pulled away and looked at him "Jake, will your pack be worried? We were a while, maybe we should get dressed…don't want them to know"

He chuckled softly "Bella don't worry about it, trust me they will know what we have been up to and if they don't, when I phase well they definitely will" I looked at him confusion until he said "When we phase, we can see each others thoughts" I blushed at the idea they could see what we had done, Jacob reached his hand out and cupped my cheek "I will try and block my thoughts ok?" I nodded as I leaned in towards him and rested my head on his chest listening to his heart beat. "I'm sorry Bells, our first time should have been in a bed not against a tree in the rain but I don't regret it, I just hope you don't either"

I pulled away a smile on my face "How could I ever regret that Jake, I don't care where it was what matters is that it was you. Do you know even when with him, you were always on my mind, I really do think I always knew deep down it was you, I just needed an epiphany"

He grinned at me "Glad I could help you out there…want to go back to mine just now, my dad's not in so we could be alone and when he does get back we can invite Charlie over, maybe tell them our news?" he looked unsure of himself.

"That sounds wonderful, maybe make use of your bed" I winked at him as I bent to get pick up my underwear and dress.

"Hell yeah" he winked back before throwing on his shorts, once we were dressed he reached for my hand "I love you Bella and will do so forever"

I felt tears prick at my eyes "I love you to Jake, I will be here for you for eternity" we smiled at one another before heading back through the forest.

A smiled played at my lips after nine months of depression, I was pulled out of it by the light in my darkness and I was ready to embrace it, we walked towards my new life and I couldn't wait…


End file.
